Indelible
by Xtase
Summary: The product of your lustful thoughts, his hidden desires, of seductive gazes and volatile chemistry - they are stolen nights of endless pleasure worth remembering. An Akatsuki Affair.


I hereby declare that I claim no rights to **NARUTO © 1999 by Kishimoto Masashi/SHUEISHA Inc. **and receive no monetary benefit for any narrative I publish hereafter based on this manga or any of its other media adaptations.

Warnings are in place for slash (male on male coupling).

-Xtase

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You two are fated to clash with each other. Over and over, leaving a tangled mess of smouldering debris. Twisted together, but never fusing.

This dark, excruciatingly handsome man who continues to tower above your head and drive you insane; from the very day you met, he has always been looking down at you - _always_.

The strength he had radiated back then was enough to make your toes curl.

The heady _scent _of power he carried with him excited you like you had never been excited before.

As he so effortlessly defeated you, as he so deeply hypnotized you with the cruel beauty - yes, beauty of his ruby eyes; you could do nothing but stare and _bask_, begrudgingly _hope _to reach for him, a part, one little part... _something_.

And because of that, you had gotten angry. Your ego was smitten. By this beautiful, majestic, unartistic _being_.

Your mind refused to acknowledge what your heart had known from the instant you saw him bathed in that red evening sunlight.

And all you had allowed yourself to do was hate. You vowed to destroy him utterly.

Destroy him, before he destroys your unstable sanity. You despised him so much...

And yet here you are, laying down with him in bed, with both of your bodies, your flowing hair and feelings intertwined. After holding each other, after hot kisses and prolonged, sinful copulation, hour after hour; together for what seems like forever.

His soft breathing dances around you as he sleeps. As he sleeps, you admire the sleek glow in his silky tresses. Dark as yours is fair.

You are both such beautiful freaks of nature, biological weapons, instruments of death and destruction; unnatural creatures commiting unnatural acts and sharing unspeakable pleasure.

You do not remember exactly how that first kiss happened, but you remember why.

The both of you realized, everytime you looked into each other's eyes, the barrenness of this existence.

Both of you felt a yen, a _need _to be fed through each other's souls.

From that very first meeting, the two of you were doomed to collide. It could not be helped.

You cannot help but hate him. You hate the hunger you feel, deep inside your body, when you see the knowing look in his eyes. You hate the way that faint smile sometimes blessing his lips makes your heart _squeeze _in your stitched chest.

You feel the pride swell up in you at the knowledge that you have coaxed such a reaction out of this chilly man. And in those bittersweet, stolen moments together, you realize that you love it. You love him.

Even though he never says it back. And when you confess, his eyes gloss over as if he is lost in the labyrinth of his own twisted mind.

He just smiles. So sadly, so sweetly it's just sickening.

A sneaking suspicion gnaws at you, that you are not nearly as important to him as you would like to believe. That you do not come first - and another stakes claim to his deepest heart.

That consumes you with jealousy.

You were born to loathe him, to love him, more than anyone else. The paths of your destinies ever intertwining, but never joining... you hate the thought of that more than you will ever hate him.

How can he not love you? What is it about you that he cannot accept? When you two are so compatible it is frightening. And the way it is when you take each other... it is so amazing it takes your breath away. Does he not feel it too?

When the heavy cloaks and masks slip off and your hands start roaming, you feel not joyous, but _complete_. When you discover the body that looks like cold sculpted marble is really vibrantly warm and supple... it is so terrible and wonderful you cannot stand it.

The kinky things you do with each other's bodies; all the postures and contortions of limbs and facial features, you believe those are your most lovely moments. Together, you and he - you two create living, breathing, _perfect _art.

And if you, stubborn as you are can admit it, then why can't he? Why won't he -

"Run away with me," you whisper right in his ear, buzzed as a beehive off the nectar of his intoxicating virility. Drunk off love.

You think he is asleep, but he is not. When you dip your head to revisit the bitemark you placed on his throat with your tongue, he surprises you by cradling the crown of your golden-syrup head in his hand.

"Run away from what?" his voice, so breathy, so sleepy, so _sexy _it makes you want to fuck him some more, until the two of you sob, make the night itself _weep_.

Before you can stop yourself, it slips out.

"Everything,"

And his sharp dark eyes narrow. They are so much more soulful and warm than that Sharingan he insists on activating all the time. But now the warmth is flattening, becoming baleful and quiet. Wary.

He's doing it again, shutting you out _again_. Rage, acute, _boiling_, grows inside you in a ferocious instant.

"Who is it?" you blurt suddenly, "_Who?_"

Itachi will not tell you, look, his eyes have already hardened to dark diamonds. This is so vexing that you want to scream.

"You think you can fuck my brains out and just shut up like a clam when it's over. Like I don't deserve to know _why_. I..." you savagely bite your own tongue, "really hate that about you,"

The pain swells in your tongue, it fills up your heart like blood, your mind goes cloudy with despair. And you're hating him again.

You hate him for making you love him. You hate him for loving you back but never admitting it.

And most of all, you hate yourself for making him reject you.

But the memory of his beauty, and his dark splendour will cry out in your mind for as long as you live. You can't just let go. You simply cannot.

"Why can't we just _be_? Just start afresh and forget about Akatsuki, the past, the pain, all of it."

"Deidara," he says patiently.

"_Please_." you croak, humiliated, dying, "Itachi - please. I can't..."

_Let go_, his shocked, pained eyes implore you, _beg _you. He sits up and towers above you once more, and you are helpless to stop him yet again.

You want to spit in his face for making you want to cry like some _bitch_. You want to wrap your hands around his pretty neck and choke him and _kill _him. Because you can't have him... _why_?

"You warned me not to get involved with you, but I did. But damnit, _you _got involved right back. _You _want this as bad as I do..." your mouth is bloody and bitter with the truth.

If he did not love you, want you, care for you, he would not be here risking his neck and playing with fire. And a wise man such as he should know very well that he would not escape this twisted affair with you without being burned.

His flesh seems to sear you as he wraps you up amd cradles you in his arms.

Oh how you hate this bivalent, wishy-washy creature, who won't even offer you empty lies as solace from this harsh reality.

"This isn't about what I want," he murmurs to the top of your head, "My entire life, it has never been about what I want. What I desire will not bring about peace, or save a life, or even make me happy,"

You choke wetly with unshed tears as he plants a soft kiss on your forehead. You know that if he is speaking like this - then something is coming to an end. Something heartbreakingly vital.

You want to strike out at him for breaking your heart, your _mind_ this way. You want to wipe his existence away.

Yet his touch and voice are so unbearably kind and gentle, you just want to sit with him here and let them wash over you forever.

"But I'm not smart enough to keep everyone from being hurt. All I've done is placed the heavy sufferings of the many onto the shoulders of a few." he rubs your cheeks with his warm, tough hands.

Your brilliant eyes swim as he kisses your lips. Stares deeply at you and whispers with _feeling_:

"On the ones I care about the most... "

And that implication...

Coming from Itachi, that's as good as an "I love you,".

As soon as it hits you, as soon as you realize, you burst into noisy tears and bury your face into his neck and his fine dark hairline.

He responds equally when you crush him to your chest. It is as if in this moment, despite the fact that your bodies are not joined, it is as if you are finally making _love_. Something beautiful, painful, magical - something forged out of your own force.

In between your shivering sobs, you manage to gasp, "Tell me what- " _who_, " - you're making yourself suffer for is worth it,"

If he tells you yes, then you are with him. Even if it is agonizing and all ends up for nothing. Your love is beautiful because it is so hopeless. It is its transience and fleeting existence that makes it all the more precious. More spectacular, more stupendous, more undeniably _real_.

"I certainly hope so." he murmurs in your ear, so husky and deep.

So sweetly, that you know in this pungent moment, that even when the two of you are pried apart and your fates finally diverge for good, your spirit will continue to be there for him. To shower him with all your love and hate, with all your might - the way only _you_ can.

You will continue fight him and lie with him, and pray to die for him in a single brilliant moment.

"I love you, too," you say in a glowing voice.

He smiles. And this time, he actually answers.

"I know,"

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_This is my first Serious!Deidara/Itachi feature, so forgive me if it is less than perfect. It wasn't too awful, I hope (I even teared up a bit while writing the end, *sniff*). _

_I'm doing oneshots like this in an effort improve my writing technique. If you see any flaws in the characterizations or flow of writing, __please let me know__, your feedback will be greatly appreciated. Hope you liked it anyway. On to the next oneshot!_


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